A Blessing Called "Love"

At this time I want to talk about one of the precious aspect in this life.
Yes, I want to talk about love aspect.

At the moment, I'm often asked questions like
"Do you have a girlfriend ?",
"Who is your girlfriend ?" ,
"When will you have a girlfriend ?".
And the answer is "I don't have one, but it's not a problem for me hahaha".
Yeah, to be honest I have not thinking about it for a time.
Maybe sometimes I think about it, but only a little, not so much.
There are lot of things in my life that I have to think, and it distract my focus and my attention , so it makes me not thinking about love aspect so much.

In my current age, my friends one by one get their lover.
My friends who haven't get their love yet also wish to have their love as soon as possible.
Lot of my friends asked this question "When is your turn, when will you get your girlfriend ?"
I have my own opinion and my own answer about this.
Yes, lot of my friends have found their lover.
But, It doesn't really matter for me that I don't have it when my friends have.
I don't feel envy or jealous with them at all, because their lover is not a girl that I love.
The only time I will feel envy is when there are a people that can spent lot of time with the girl that I love, when the only thing that I can do is seeing her from a distance.

I don't have girlfriend at this time, but I accept what it is.
I know a mutual love is really a blessing and a happiness that won't come so easily.
There are lot of factors in it.
If I think wisely, I will say that it's better for me to not have a girlfriend now.
It's not like I don't want to have a girl friend.
I admit it that if I have a girlfriend, I will feel very happy.
I'm so thankful if there is a girl who love me, someone who can I spend my time with, someone who who wan't to talk to me everyday, someone that can cheer me up when I feel sad, someone that I can hug, and someone who can make me smile only with seeing her face and hearing her voice.
But at this time , I think the condition isn't right to have a girlfriend.
Why ?
I can say at this time I haven't been a great person.
At this era, as a man we have to be an almost perfect person.
Yes, we have to become a man that someone can relied, A man that can fullfill his family needs, and a man that always ready to help our girlfriend's problem.
We can not say "Okay, I have many weakness, but I want someone to accept me just what I am".
We have to fix ourselves, improve ourselves to become a better man that can lead a family.
To have a queen, You have to become a king first, is it right ?

At this time, I only responsible to myself,
If I have a girlfriend, I will have a responsibility to her life, and our life in the future.
Maybe I'm not fit enough to have that responsibility.
and I think I must thanks to God that I don't have girlfriend now.
It's his good plan.
Like I said, I'm not at good condition now.
Maybe I will lose my love to someone better at current situation, or even I will face the situation that I can't make my girlfriend happy because of my weakness.
It's really painful to see someone you love crying, moreover If she feels sad because of you.
So I think it's time for me to improve myself to become a better person.

If my friends asked me again when will I have a girlfriend.
maybe this time I will answer :
"I don't know, I can't predict my future
Just save your red angpao on my wedding day !"
hahaha it's just a joke
Honestly I even don't know whether I can be married in the future.
Love is a thing that we can not predict after all.
It's like a box of chocolates, we never know which one we gonna get.

However, I wish that in the future I can find a woman that can be give me a happiness.
Yes, I hope if someday I have a girlfriend, she will be the last girlfriend that I ever had.
There are two most beautiful moment then I want to feel in my life.
The first one is on my wedding day, the day that I will say thank you to my lover for loving me and giving me a happiness.
The second one when my wife give me a child, I will kiss her forehead and being thankful to her for giving me most precious gift that I ever had.
I want to improve myself, do my best and go after it with everything I got.
With that work, I hope I can feel that moment in the future, so I won't carry any regret when I leave this world.
When I know the time is right for me, I hope that someday I will find my love and pursuit my happiness.

Regards