"Lessons" In College Life (Part 2)

This post is a continued part from the last chapter.
yes, the lessons in college..

The second problem in my college time is social problem.
yeah like I said at the beginning in the first chapter,
Lot of collegers say that they have a really great new experience in social aspect, with new friends and at new place.
They said at college time, they met and got lot of new friends
Also they often went to new place that so beautiful and very suitable to be a place to have a talk, play, and having fun.
Right, They had so many times spent with their friends.
In the weekend, holiday, even at free time in weekday they gathered together, ate together, played together, took a photo together..
It's really fun to heard isn't it ?

I had some memories like that , but not so much.
On the contrary, I had so many lonely times at this period.
Yeah I met so many people in this time, either from the class or the organization that I entered.
I met and knew so many people, but at the end most of those people only became colleagues, not as friends.
There was a time when I felt my friends hate me because I had different opinion and made a decision that different from them.
My close friends from highschool were seperated with me because of the distance and different path, even some of them turned into someone I knew.
The people that I could spend time to play were far away from the place that I lived.
I ever thought that if I die, no one will feel sad with my death.
It's really terrible.

There was a period when I spent most of my time alone.
Even in the weekend, I just spent my time at boarding house.
Sometimes I felt envy when I saw other people's posts on social media.
Yeah I saw they ate wonderful food together on great restaurant, cafe, or mall,
when at that time I was eating my rice box alone at the sofa in my boarding house.
I saw they post  their photo, checked in their moment when they were having fun and playing at playground place, I really felt jealous at that time. 

Sometimes I asked why I didn't such that chance ?
Was It because I'm a bad person, or because I didn't have a car that could made it easier to invite many people, or because I didn't have so much money to go to luxury place?
Sometimes I asked why did a boy who has a car and a girl who has a pretty face can easily has good social life ?
I envied it,  I really want to make my youth time become really precious.
Youth time to spent time with playing and having fun with many friends, it's really a wonderful time that wouldn't ever repeated.
But finally I realize maybe it should be like this.
Like this I could save more money, I only had a limitful saving,  so if I spent my money too much for having fun, maybe I would lack of money to fulfill my life necessities.
With this, I could eat well and lived at quite proper place .
Also I can't force other people to spend time to chat or talk or play with me, it's their own entitlement to take their own decision, after all time is priceless at this time right ?
 
However there is a positive thing I learn from that problem.
I'm thankful now that I can be a stronger person, really really stronger than before.
And I can more appreciate and respect other people now, believing that everyone must have their own problemns.
Now I don't think too much about other peoples life especially comparing life, it really make my life more peaceful, really..
I am very grateful because now I have some close friends, maybe I don't have so many close friends like other people, but It make me become a person that really appreciate invitation.
Yes, whenever my friends invites me to play together, when my friends want to have a chat and talk with me, when my friends want to help me, when my friends wishing me on my birthday, when my friends appreciate me as their close friends.
I just want to say it to those people,
Thank you so much for being my friends.

Regards